13 April 2008

Shoe shopping is my favorite sport

In fact, I think this strenuous activity should be a considered as a sport - or better, a Pentathlon.

The first discipline is sprint hurdles. One must first reach the shops - face the traffic, public transport, crowds of people on the street - without being distracted by fashion shops, phone calls, invitations and all other social commitments we have to abdicate in order to go shopping.

The second discipline is weightlifting. In other words, once we arrive to the shop we have the terrible task of holding and lifting some dozens of shoes in order to check them. This discipline is often combined with the third discipline: artistic gymnastics or ballet. After all, we must graciously put on so many pairs of beautiful shoes and step around the shop following a choreography that includes sighs, smiles and many poses in front of the mirror.

The fourth discipline is chess. We think about the best strategy of matching the pairs of shoes we pre-selected with the innumerous dresses, shirts, skirts, accessories and other fashion objects we have bought in the last months, or we think of buying in the near future. This strenuous mental activity is often met with pleasure - because the best strategy usually involves more shopping. A sidetask of this discipline is the maths involved in the credit card balance evaluation - but this task is most frequently overlooked by most athletes.

The fifth discipline is the Farmer's Walk. This Strength Athletics discipline involves racing along a course (back home) carrying a heavy weight (or a handful of bags) in each hand. A variation of this discipline is Vehicle Pull - but instead of pulling a vehicle, we must drag around our boyfriend, husband or friend while torturing him with questions and requests - but at the end of the fourth discipline, they can do the Farmer's Walk instead of us.

So, anybody up for some sport today? Remember, for this sport you do not need special clothes or running shoes. You can have your cute high heel shoes on!

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